Careful what you wish for
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Remember that YAT (yet another test) I was steamed about a couple of days ago? My surgeon's office cancelled it this morning, in anticipation of proceeding with surgery posthaste—I'm guessing sometime next week. Mentally, I feel like I'm strapped into the rollercoaster now, and I've started that long, clackety climb up the first hill. Except it's foggy, and I can't see exactly how far it is to the top.
I still don't have a firm date for surgery, but I'd guess chances are about 75% that I'll miss my oldest daughter's birthday party on February 18, which will also be the day of the first band gig I miss because of my illness.
In an effort to get some stuff out the door, I've helped post three separate podcasts in the past two days: there's the latest episode of my wife's Lip Gloss and Laptops, our first post-NAMM Show issue of Inside Home Recording, and today, a new guitar instrumental I recorded and posted on my Penmachine Podcast, called "Fakeout" (MP3 file). I think it would make good driving music.
Tomorrow I'm taking the day off work to start getting prepared. I'm not sure whether I'll be back Monday, and if not that, how long it will be before I return. As you might expect, I'm kind of sleepwalking through the days waiting for something to happen—waiting for the coaster to reach the crest of that hill.
I'm pleased that I'll get the surgery, which is the first step to getting this cancer out of my body. But I'm nervous and discombobulated about what's coming up. Other than the next episode of Lip Gloss and Laptops, which should be finished and posted before I leave for the hospital, I'm not sure when or what you'll next see from me on the other two podcasts.
Today marks exactly (and only!) one month since I found out I have cancer. And I'm strapped in and ready to ride.