14 August 2008


The cure and the disease

I realized a little while ago that's it's been well over a year since I felt any symptoms directly from my cancer. Since my surgery in July 2007, my main intestinal tumours (which gave me a lot of pain) have been gone; what remains are some small metastatic growths in my lungs.

Those are obviously bad, especially if they keep growing. But I can't feel them at all, even when I'm riding my bike, hiking around on top of a mountain, or otherwise exercising my lungs. Yes, I'm weaker than I used to be, and pretty tired a lot of the time, but the discomfort I've had over the past year has come from surgery recovery, chemotherapy, various medication side effects, and so on.

The doctors, nurses, and I are fighting off a deadly disease that I can't feel with techniques that I definitely can. So I'm lying in bed today, exhausted and nauseated, but that's from the medicine, not the cancer. It's necessary, essential even. But it's weird too.

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Sometimes you're the hammer, sometimes you're the nail.

Today, I hope you were the hammer.
Hi Derek;

Continue to live your life with joy, marvel, curiosity - I get from your blog, which me and Sean Reilly are now fans of, that you have absolutely the right attitude to fight this. To point out the obvious, you are so lucky to have a family that cares about you as well. Go Tigers!!!!
I concur with Michael and Sugarmouth, you are definitely a fighter. Strength and positive vibes to you.

On a non-health related note, I think I gave some bad advice on podcast clients out on Twitter (to Matt Musselman, aka @mussles). Ooops. But I sent him your way as you're Podcaster Extraordinaire :)