16 September 2007


Family and friends

I received an email today from someone who has both had cancer and been a close relative of someone who died from it. She reinforced, like others did, that being the relative was much more difficult.

Almost every day, my mom tells me of emails or letters or phone calls from people—some of whom I know, some of whom I've never met or hardly even know about—wishing me well and offering sympathy and support and whatever help they can. My parents and my in-laws, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, parents of my children's friends, and most of all my kids and my wife—all have done that and more.

My relatives and friends probably need as much support as, or more than, I do, because much of the time they feel there is little they can do. They send me suggestions, and help me when I feel bad, and pick up the huge amount of slack I'm leaving when I'm sleepy or sick. But they can't cure the cancer, can't even fight it the way I have to. They are spectators, and that must be hard.

So cheers to all of you. I don't often thank you the way I should, but I think you might understand why I'm a little distracted most of the time.

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Well said Derek, you write from your heart. I as well as so many others have been a victim and a spectator of cancer, and you are right, neither seat is easy. Cancer impacts the entire family and dominos down to friends who know and love you to those that only know of you. Cancer is a journey a path we walk alone making our own footsteps and become stronger and different from it. You are such a fighter and have so much to give that I cannot see you doing anything but winning the battle.

I can imagine just how comforting it is for your Mom and Dad to hear from everyone with their concerns for you. As a parent I can relate to that, and your parents are lovely people.

I will continue to be a spectator, because I think as well as your own determination, your family, friends and spectators are all going to pull you through this. Barbra
hey .. I so agree with this, I really appreciate the difficulties for family and friends.

I just read your january pos ton being distracted . Ain't that the truth? It's so strange just forgetting or not doing things when you usually pride yourself on a sharp mind and reliability.

I think this maybe what ppl mean when they talk about "chemo-brain" ... it's just "cancer brain" really!

All the best with you chemo. I'm literally just finishing mine as I type. It's taken 8 months to do the prescribed 12 courses of de Gramond and avastin. Got a scan next week ... scarey times.

love to you and yours